A Strange encounter ?
by Sarrebham1
Summary: There is a girl in this world, her mind set to annoying the HeCK out of the characters of Twilight .oh, how I love that book. Three Chapters! She annoys Edward, utterly confusing him, then pissing off Jacob, and again with the Edward!
1. Strange girl confuses Edward

**Hi! I hope this is funny! Pretty please review! Please.**

In Which Edward Meets a Strange Girl

Edward was sitting in the mall, reading Hamlet, in Latin, for the 3rd time he could remember. Alice was shopping and brought him along, seeming that everyone else was too busy. Edward didn't like shopping, so there he sat.

He closed the Shakespeare book and leaned back, closing his golden eyes. How long was Alice going to take? It had been at least 2 hours, which seemed to Edward as too long to really be shopping.

The mall wasn't full, but wasn't nearly close to empty.

A girl, with startling green eyes, dark brown hair, and about 2 inches shorter than Edward, sat down, next to Edward.

She smelled good, Edward noticed, a nice, fresh, spring-like scent. Not as good as Bella though.

Edward decided to read her mind. He knew it was an invasion of privacy, it wasn't nice, but he was just that bored. _Besides_, he though, _if she thinks of anything too personal, I'll block her out. _

_Banana, baaanaaanaaaaaa, bananana, oops, too many 'na's.' Ok, banananananananana, BANANA! Banana, banoonoo, banananan-fa. Banana._

What? Edward was very surprised, sure he had read some strange minds, but this? Bananas? The girl was looking at sign with a new flavor banana split at Baskin Robins.

_Banana!_

She didn't seem hungry to Edward, just… bored?

_That's right Edward! Ding! Ding! Ding! I am bored. I mean seriously, who the "F" thinks about bananas all day? Really, Edward. Oh! Have you seen this thing called "David Blaine?" It's sooo funny, ok, go to Youtube, type "David Blaine" and click on the third one down._

He looked at her, his eyes wide, threatening to jump out of their sockets. She was mearly leaning back, eyes closed, a small malicious smile beckoning to bloom.

"Er," he said, not sure what to say. "Excuse me?" She opened her eyes.

"Yes?" An innocent smile played at her lips.

"Oh, um, never mind."

_Haha! I am going to drive you crazy! _She thought, leaning back once more.

_Can you read minds to? _Edward thought, new to relaying back messages with his mind, he tried not to look at the girl.

_Ok, ok, ok, if 5+x is equal to the square root of negative pi, the x is obviously-? _She paused a total of 2 second while Edward remained silent.

_An imaginary number! OMG! Have you seen Harry Potter Puppet Pals? I love the Mysterious Ticking Noise! _

She started to sing this Youtube phenomenon in her mind, taking Edward off the fact that she had just thought "OMG."

She was done with the song.

_Ok, Edward, I will tell you a few things, wait, there's a sale at Coach today? All leather belts 5 off with 100 purchase, holy F! I'm there!_

Edward looked around, there was no Coach as far as he could tell. She started to stand up calmly, glanced over to him and smiled, then walked to a smoothie stand.

"Edward! Just the man I was looking for!" Alice's cheery voice called out. "I need you to hold these for me, and I bought Jasper a belt from Coach! There's a sale, and, oh! I'll be a bit longer, are you sure you don't want to come?" She looked at him with her two big golden eyes.

"No, I'm sure." Edward said, noticing the strange girl coming back with a smoothie.

"Ok!" And Alice bounding off, or in her case, danced off, heads turning to watch the show that made ballerinas sigh.

_My name is Amelie, yet, spelled the way it is, I'm not French. Oh, have you seen that movie? _The girl -Amelie- sat down, sucking on the straw of the smoothie. She glanced over at him and stopped ranting about a random movie in her head.

_Um, ok, I'm Amelie, your Edward, both at the age of 17, whatever. _

She looked at him in a way that he knew she knew he was far older.

_In a way, I guess I can read minds, Idk, but enough about me, what about you? _

Edward kept his brain as blank as he could get it, which was a hard task, for his brain was as smart and logical as he was beautiful.

_Fine! Be that way! I'll tell you what I know. You are a vampire, like Dracula, but not! 'Cause Dracula is like "Bleh, hear my stupid accent!" and your like "Sparkle" and "Twinkle."_

Edward was basically shell-shocked. How does she know this? He looked down to see her shirt that read, "Vampirz rulz."

_Anyhoo, like good old Dr. Nick from The Simpsons would said, "Bye Everybody!" Because I really must be off._

Edward sat still as a statue, watching the girl throw her blueberry and vanilla strawberry supreme smoothie away.

"My reason?" Amelie said this aloud, looking straight at him. "Fun, to annoy, and this won't be the last of me."

She walked away all the time thinking. _Muahahahahahahaha! (Vampires really do rule!) _

Once again, Alice came up, calling Edward to help her bring the shopping bags to the car. He wasn't really paying attention.

WTF?

**Any questions or comments? REVIEW! THEY ARE ALL I HAVE!**

**I'm thinking of having a whole story on this strange girl annoying the heck out of all the Cullens, Bella, and Jacob. DANGIT! Why aren't they real?**

**Review! Or I will kill you with my plastic vampire teeth! Argh! Scary! **


	2. Strange girl annoys Jacob

**Hi! Second Chapter! Yay!**

Jacob, his tall big, muscular, hot self was at the reservation's beach

Jacob, his tall, big, muscular, hot self was at the reservation's beach. It was nice out, the water sparkling, calm, the beach free of litter, but he didn't know what was to come.

He didn't know that tourists came around sometimes.

He didn't know the one, lone girl that was coming, the reason of her existence, was to annoy him. But she came.

"Hello, Jacob!" A happy voice said.

He wheeled around, how did this girl get here without being noticed by him?

"Hi, how do you know my name?" He looked at her piercing green eyes, she smelled nice, not like a vampire at all.

"Oh, I get around." She said, looking at a piece of drift wood. "My name is Amelie, and NO, I am not French."

"OK…" He looked at her shirt, that said "Vampires are better than you and you know it," in rainbow, no less, metallic colors.

"What is with your shirt?" His eyes narrowed, he did not like vampires.

"OMG! Isn't it just _amazing_! I loooove vampires! They are way cooler than anything… especially werewolves. Ugh, werewolves, ugly and stinky, who wants to become a random wolf? Oh! Have you seen that "Thriller" music video, I love the song, but Michael Jackson turns into a werewolf, it's stupid, he should have turned into a, you know, _vampire._"

Jacob paused, trying to retain the information of what she just said into his brain, then he said;

"You don't know anything." Jacob turned around, surely this girl was a freaky preppy-goth girl that loved the _idea_ of vampires, not the real blood-sucking monsters.

"Oh, really? I don't know that they sparkle and glitter, and are super cool in their amazing fast and super strength skills?" Amelie smirked at Jacob.

"Um….." How did she know that? "Just because they sparkle and glitter doesn't mean they won't kill you." He turned away from this extremely annoying girl.

"Whatever, listen, if I was a girl that had to choose between a werewolf or a vampire, I would so choose the vampire, I think anyone would, don't you think?"

This made Jacob seriously pissed to a new extreme. He whipped around, attempting to grab her wrist and shake her around like a toy. But she wasn't there.

"Hey, over here, honey." She was on the other side of Jacob.

"How did you…" He started.

"Now, this place is boring, I wanted a blueberry vanilla shake, but they don't seem to be here. Where can you get one?" She looked at him quizzically.

"I… I don't know."

"Oh, well, there must be a town near here that has them, they are so good, infact, I bet I could go to the local market and buy some ingredients. I heard it was easy to make, but I'm not sure. Do they have Wal-mart here? I bet Wal-mart has the shake mix. Sigh, they have everything, at low prices, all the time. Practically perfect in every way. Where is that saying from? Idk, oh well, now where was I? The acronym analogy? Wait, where did that come from? I guess I was learning about acronyms in school. Oh! I was watching this show about a school boy that goes missing and-"

"Is this going anywhere?" Jacob muttered to himself. Apparently, this annoying girl heard that.

"Yes, this is going somewhere! I just don't know it. Gosh!" She rolled her eyes. "You seem to be hot headed, sometimes, you know that? You know what you could do to stop that? Go meditate, this beach is a lovely place to do that." Amelia plopped into the sand, crossed her legs, and closed her eyes.

"You are really annoying, you know that?" Jacob said, he turned away from her again and started walking off.

"And you're a hot-headed werewolf that can't get over people."

He spun around, but she wasn't there, he heard a chuckle from the woods, but he was getting a head-ache from this nonsense and lay down on the beach.

**Ok, let me make this clear to you, REAVIEW!**

NOW**NOWNOW! If you don't... you will die, not knowing what happens in the next Twilight books.**

Painful... LOL, I like both Edward and Jacob, don't make me choose!


	3. Ch 3 Edward again?

Edward was still confused with the strange girl, but he put the thoughts of her in the back of his too-smart-to-be-real brain

Edward was still confused with the strange girl, but he put the thoughts of her in the back of his too-smart-to-be-real brain.

That was, of course, until she showed up again. Which was unlikely, he thought.

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining, the air was cheery and warm. Perfect for all but vampires.

The Cullens were inside a theater, watching a new movie. Alice had predicted that the clouds would come in once the movie ended, so here they were.

Edward had his arm around Bella, who's head was on his shoulder, brown hair falling to his chest. He breathed in her scent.

_Awwww! How sweet! You guys are better than the movie, of which I saw on youtube already. _

He froze, but started breathing before Bella noticed.

_Is this…Amelie?_ Asked Edward in his mind, trying to sniff her out, which was hard, for the smell of popcorn, spilt kiwi smoothie, Bella, burning film, and random people, were overpowering.

But then he smelled something different. Something… smelly. A smell, that smells, smelly. Blueberry smoothie.

_Duh! Who else knows of your vampire coolness? Haha, I heard this song, it's kindove creepy sounding, like a haunted house where a girl died, but's it's cool! Yeah, it's from a vampire thing… They are kinda like you except they don't sparkle… Which doesn't make them as cool. _She laughed in her head.

Edward heard something behind him, but it was only a young boy trying to grab the chocolate covered pretzels from his mom, who was too busy applying last minute make-up in the dark. Why in a movie theater? No one knows.

_So I was thinking, besides the fact that werewolves can be __**born**__, can you get bitten by one and become one? 'Cause that would be SO cool._

Edward stayed silent.

_Oh wait… no you can't, darn… Well, you never know. But, seriously, the movies? I know the ending! It's when the shark-_

But Edward stop listening in on her head, he didn't want to know the ending, and he had been refraining from reading anyone's minds for the past few days to keep it a surprise. It was hard after a certain point not knowing what people were thinking.

_Shut up. _Thought Edward, he was still new to this Amelie that's power eluded him.

_Fine. _

Silence in the mind. Was Amelie really not talk- thinking? What a change.

_But I so think that you could make a movie about vampires and the special affects would be amazing! I bet the Volturi would let you. Car-lis-ol probably would be like "No" but I think it's a great idea._

_It's pronounced Car-li-ol. Car, lie, ole._

_Oh, damn, that's really confusing. Is that really French? Because I took French class for 3 years and that name never came up. Confuzzling! I am going to look that up on Google next chance I have. Or Youtube, let me think… yeah, youtube. OMG! Have you seen the episode on Shoes? OMG, SHOES! These shoes rule, dum-dum, these shoes suck, dum-dum._

She started singing in her head again.

_Toast, toast, toast, TOAST! I could really go for some toast right now. _Thought Amelie.

_I'm sure you could._ Thought Edward, slightly pissed that he was missing the commercials for the next Harry Potter Movie. Bella sat a little higher up, she, too, was interested in Harry Potter. He looked at her, she looked at him.

"Don't worry, your way better than every single Harry Potter character." She whispered, smiling at him in the darkness.

He smiled, and they kissed for a brief moment.

"I wouldn't have any other way." She settled back to his shoulder.

_Awwwwwwww! You too are so cute! You can even hear the woman behind you sighing._

The woman with the child behind Edward was sighing, at them. The small boy was licking his chubby fingers with a smile.

Edward was really annoyed.

_Go away, already!_

_Mmmmm, blueberry smoothie… What was that? I didn't catch that, where was I? Oh yeah, toast. Toast, toast, toast. Tooooooooaaaaaaaaaaasssssssstttttttt. Say toast ten times fast._

_No._

_Ugh. Fine! Toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast, toast. Ok, I'm not going to be quiet until you answer me! What do you put in a toaster?_

Silence came from Edward.

_Fine! Banana! Banana! Banana, banana, banana, banananananananana! Baaaaaaannnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Banan-_

_Toast! God damnit already! Toast!_

_No! Edward! The answer is not toast, it is bread._

Flabbergastation.

Edward, felt a slight breeze in the dark theater, and the smell of spring wafted around him, disturbing the sweet, sweet smell of Bella.

A door opened, then closed.

_Muahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Buh-bye Edward, for now!_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_**How did you like it? Please review! I know this took long, but… I couldn't think of anything. I'm a slow reader…**_

_**If you don't review I'll make a fetal pig kill you with it's blue eyes staring you down and a rusty scapel. And that's a smelly way to die.**_


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